"Snikt me! Snikt me! SNIKT ME!!!"

Yep, it's that time again! It's Wednesday, so that means that it's Wacky Wade Wednesday, the day where we celebrate all things Deadpool.

Today's post will be a little short on the length (I'm fighting with angry sinuses), but it will be full on the funny! First off, I'm gonna take you an excursion through Deadpool #0. This issue was a special, free issue that came with Wizard Magazine in 1998, and it contains some of the most incredible, hilarious Deadpool moments ever.

As the book opens, Wade is busy suspending a guy over his own Doberman dogs, drizzling BBQ sauce down the guy's face. Wade has come on a mission for his boss; he's come to retrieve the MacGuffin files (love that reference!), and the guy quickly gives in and tells Wade that they're in the bedroom safe.

Unfortunately for our maniac, the files have been stolen by Vamp-Animus. But what the heck? Deadpool killed Vamp-Animus the year before, so how could he still be alive?

Wade hijacks a cab and follows VA to his lair, where he is working for Arnim Zola. Zola has a big old exposition segment where he reveals his ultimate plans. He has perfected cloning to the point where he can create life from one strand of DNA in hours, and he plans on creating what he calls "Corpse Corps" to be his footmen.

Zola sics Vamp-Animus on Wade, but he kills him again with one shot, so Zola unleashes his dread army of dead losers.

The next few pages are absolute gold, and I wish I could share every single one of them with you. Wade is really in his element, and he just rips through all of the clones, dispatching them with ease and with a witty quip.

He seems to have eliminated most of the clones, and Wade finds two beds covered with sheets. What he finds there is one of the most frightening images Marvel have ever given us:

(That's Spider-Man's Aunt May & Uncle Ben, for those not in the know) Wade continues his maniacal fun, and it doesn't take long before he's killed every single clone in the building and has Zola pinned to the ground, Wade's giant gun aimed at his face. Being a coward, Zola makes a deal with Deadpool to save his life. Deadpool's a little apprehensive at first, but he's reeeaaaally happy with the deal he ends up with:

And now, just a couple of little items to end this romp, all from the pages of 1998's Baby's First Deadpool Book. To start things off, here's a little lesson in etiquette from Captain America & Deadpool!
And, last but not least, a few lessons in our ABCs.

And that's gonna wrap things up for today. Tomorrow's a freebie day, so I'm not sure yet what will be covered. I'm thinking about starting a walk-through of the DC miniseries Kingdom Come. If I don't go with that, I think I'll cover issue #1 of Astro City.

"I am always Jean Grey and always the Phoenix."

Hey there! Glad to see you came back for part 2 of this Phoenix story, What If? #33, What If. . . Phoenix Rose Again? If you missed part 1, well, scroll back up and read it or else this story won't make much sense.

But first, a little impromptu poll before I continue. How is this style of post working for you guys? Do you enjoy the full issue recaps, or do you prefer the smaller segments I've done, like the top Deadpool quotes & moments? Lemme know in the comments, if you would. I'd love some feedback.

This part of the story is a little different in that it's completely from the perspective of Phoenix. The narration is all first-person, and it really adds to the story and gives us a lot of insight into this version of Phoenix.

As the story begins, Phoenix is reviewing the previous issue's events in her mind before she decides to hunt for the Shadow King and rescue her daughter, Rachel. She uses her powers to locate the Shadow King, and she finds out that he is on Muir Island, home of Moira McTaggart (ex-lover of Professor Xavier)'s research facility.

Knowing how powerful the Shadow King is, Phoenix enters the facility warily, scanning for any sign of him, but she finds none; she does sense that something is blocking her scans, and she quickly finds out who that person is: her daughter, Rachel.

The Shadow King has used some of the facility's technology to rapidly age Rachel, which unleashes her mutant powers and which has also given the Phoenix Force to her because of her heritage. However, Rachel still has the mind of the infant she truly is; the Shadow King is using her as his puppet.

Phoenix fears using the full force of her powers because she doesn't want to harm Rachel, but the Shadow King forces her hand. Instead of fighting him in reality, she takes the battle to the Astral Plane where she can face him with the entirety of the Phoenix Force.

She just rips him to shreds, which returns Rachel to herself, only she's a baby in the body of an adult. Phoenix uses her powers to turn Rachel back a baby, and I've always found these panels to be really touching. Phoenix may be a cosmic entity, but she has absorbed some humanity and truly does love her child.

She and Rachel return home to the X-Mansion, and life goes on much as normal for the next eight years. Phoenix lives the life of Jean Grey, but she feels conflicted in living this lie, in hiding the truth from her family and friends. And like all good things, this too must come to an end: an anti-mutant candidate is elected President, and the Mutant Registration Act is passed in 1990. As usual, the X-Men plan to resist this law.

One night, Wolverine is returning to his room when he hears Rachel having a nightmare. I'm going to share this entire page because it encapsulates all the reasons I gave for loving Logan yesterday:

Logan being the experienced & pretty smart guy that he is realizes that Rachel's nightmare is more than just a dream. He knows something is up with Jean. And boy, is there!

Phoenix travels to the White House & uses her powers to mindwipe the President, making him more sympathetic towards mutants. Unfortunately, this was a horrible move because someone assassinates him for his changed beliefs the next day.

Henry Peter Gyrich (an X-villain who also appears in our timeline's stories) pushes forward creation of the Mark V Sentinels. If you're not familiar with the Sentinels, they featured quite a bit back in the 80s and in more recent times. They are giant robots created just for eliminating mutants or superhumans, and they can read energy signatures to tell who is superpowered and who isn't.

The Sentinels begin eliminating superpowered threats. They not only kill many mutants, they also eliminate a lot of superheroes (a full-page panel shows the Sentinels hunting down Iron Man, Captain America, The Avengers, the Fantastic Four with a line of gravestones along the bottom of the page; they even killed Daredevil & the Hulk). The X-Men take refuge in the Mansion, but they know that their time is short.

Wolverine takes this time to confront "Jean." He knows that she is Phoenix, but she denies this is true. The next scene has always made me a little bit uncomfortable, and I'm gonna warn you now that it's a bit triggering.

He beats her to make her unleash the Phoenix, and it works perfectly. Now, I understand what he's doing here in his efforts, but I still don't like the idea of Logan beating a woman. Anyway, she fries him with her powers, but it doesn't do too much damage because of his healing ability.

Mid-kiss, Logan pops his claws into Phoenix's chest and vows to eliminate her because he's like her, a killer, but she can't control her bloodlust. He doesn't want to kill her, but he knows that one day she'll snap, and she could wipe out everything with her powers. He doesn't succeed. Phoenix catches him in the air with her telekinesis and wipes his memory.

Not the best move. Cyclops & Professor X have been outside of the room the entire time, and they've heard everything. Phoenix leaves, and she couldn't have picked a worse time to do that. The Sentinels strike once she leaves, decimating the X-Men. They manage to escape to an abandoned Sentinel base in the Adirondack, and as they are planning their next strike, they receive an unexpected visitor: Magneto.

Of course, Wolverine immediately wants to gut him, but Magneto has come in peace. He realizes how all mutantkind is on the brink and that they must bond together or be completely wiped out. They begin the next phase of their attack against the Sentinels.

The Sentinel base is in the Baxter Building, the once-home of the Fantastic Four, and the mutants make their way there through the old Morlock tunnels, with Magneto providing a magnetic field to shield them from the Sentinels, but the Sentinels use that magnetic field to find them.

Magneto attacks the Sentinels, but they counter him with a ray, breaking his back & paralyzing him (hmmm, that's familiar!). Just when it seems the X-Men are doomed, Dark Phoenix appears and just destroys the surrounding Sentinels.

The X-Men are afraid at first, but Phoenix informs them they have nothing to fear from her; she's just there for the Sentinels. And boy, is she! She uses her powers to explode the Baxter Building, wiping out a bunch of Sentinels in the process, but they soon surround her.

One of the Sentinels uses a scrambler on Phoenix, overwhelming her, and before they can terminate her, the X-Men attack to protect her. This whole next segment is very reminiscent of Days of Future Past, which, of course, is the intent.

The team hit & run the Sentinels, and they experience a loss straight away: Nightcrawler. He's always had a bit of a weak heart, and the strain of teleporting so many X-Men in is too much for him. Kitty Pryde comes to the rescue now. She phases herself and Colossus into the Baxter Building.

The loss of Kitty is great, but the destruction of Master Mold provides the mutants an opening. Phoenix completely unleashes her fiery powers upon the Sentinels, completely wiping them out.

The battle over, the X-Men return to their new base. Jean approaches Scott tentatively, but he shows her acceptance.

The precog mutant Destiny comes to speak to Phoenix, knowing Phoenix would request to speak with her. She asks Destiny what she sees in her future, and Destiny informs her that death is all she sees, unless Phoenix leaves. Phoenix already knew this was her future, and she leaves Earth to return to the stars, even though she wants to stay with her child and the man she loves.

*sigh* Bit of a downer, huh? I think it's time to liven things up with a little trip through a couple of my favorite panels from The Incredible Hercules.

If you aren't reading this book, you SHOULD be! It's probably the book I enjoy the most, month in and month out. It nicely blends action, drama and comedy in a way I haven't seen done ever.

Hercules has always kind of been thought of as the poor-man's Thor; like Thor, he's one of the few true gods in the Marvel universe, and he was also a member of the Avengers. He's a real womanizer and can be a bit of a cad, but he's incredibly lovable. I'm not going to go through his complete history, but if you're interested, you can read about it over here.

A couple of years ago, post the World War Hulk cross-over, Hercules inherited the Hulk's title when it became The Incredible Hercules. Herc joined forces with a young genius named Amadeus Cho, and after World War Hulk, the pair took off for fun and adventure.

First, The Incredible Hercules always contains the best, the greatest and the funniest recap page in any comic book. Here's an example from issue #123:
And one from the newest issue, #134:

One of the things I love the most about this book is how the sound effects so often echo what's going on in the story:

Earlier this year, Herc & Amadeus ran into some Amazons who kidnapped Amadeus because they wanted him to use his abilities to find an object of great power. Herc comes to rescue Amadeus, and he finds him with the Amazon leader, Artume, and, Herc being the rogue he is, thinks Cho's about to get a little action, so he has this now-classic response:

And that's a little introduction to The Incredible Hercules. Believe me, I've got more of him to share, but I don't want to give it all away in the first post. I'm gonna delay the pleasure. I think Herc would approve.

Tomorrow is Wacky Wade Wednesday, so there will be much Deadpool. I'm not 100% sure what yet, but whatever it winds up being, it'll be funny.

"I am fire and life incarnate! Now and forever -- I am Phoenix!"

Well, another week, another Mutant Monday! And today, I'm going to be covering an alternate version of my favorite character, Jean Grey. The book in question is What If? #32, What If. . . Phoenix Had Not Died?

The What If? series really doesn't get enough love. It's one of my favorite series, and I've tried to get my hands on as many issues as I can find. In this series, Uatu the Watcher gives you a premise and then shows you what would have happened if events went another way. Not every issue is dark or has a sad ending, but a vast majority of them do. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the angst. And, boy, does this two-parter have angst in spades (I'll cover issue #33 tomorrow)!

Okay, quick recap (or as quick as possible) on Phoenix, for those unfamiliar with her/it. Jean Grey was a mutant who had telepathic/telekinetic powers. In a story from the early 80s, the X-Men were traveling in a shuttle craft through a solar flare, but the radiation began seeping through. One person had to stay at the controls while the rest remained in a shielded part of the craft; Jean used her telepathic powers on the ship's pilot to learn how to fly the craft, all while using the telekinetic portion of her abilities to keep the radiation out. She managed to save the X-Men, but not alone: the Phoenix Force heard her pain and offered to save her life, which she accepted.

The Phoenix took on Jean's form and placed her body in a cocoon on the ocean floor, and when she returned to the X-Men, they believed she had died and was resurrected by Phoenix, but it was just Phoenix becoming Jean.

They went through a lot of adventures with Phoenix, but the power became too uncontrollable for her. She was manipulated by Jason Wyngarde (Mastermind) and the Hellfire Club, she destroyed a planet full of broccoli people by consuming its sun (yeah, you heard me right; I might go into that part of it one day), and, finally, she was sentenced to death by the Shi'ar Empire (an alien race) in order to bring her madness to an end.

Jean/Phoenix had seemed to have her powers back under control by this time, but it wasn't enough for Lilandra, leader of the Shi'ar. The X-Men fought to save Jean by battling the Imperial Guard; Jean brought the battle to an end by committing suicide. She just couldn't stand the risk of Phoenix taking over her again and possibly dooming more people.

And that brings us to the beginning of this What If? issue. See, in this timeline, Jean was taken out early in the battle with the Imperial Guard, and instead of executing her, they performed a psychic lobotomy, removing all traces of her abilities and powers, making her just a normal human.

The X-Men return to Earth, and life goes on pretty much the same as in our timeline, except that Scott (Cyclops) and Jean marry and leave the team. Jean is plagued by nightmares of the horrible deeds she committed as Phoenix, which strains her relationship with Scott.

One night, they have a visitor to their home out on Martha's Vinyard (oh, yeah, purchased for them by Warren Worthington III, Angel): Magneto. He's come to take Jean up to Asteroid M and offer her a chance to have her powers back.

She nearly takes that offer, too. The X-Men come to the rescue, but it wouldn't be a Claremont-era X-Men comic without a some internal monologues (Claremont didn't write this book, but he was credited with plotting it):


And then we get this awesome image, a great homage to the cover of Giant X-Men #1:


Okay, back to Jean. She struggles with the allure of allowing the Phoenix Force to overtake her once more. She finally decides not to give in, and she begins destroying Magneto's energy chamber, and, Magneto being the evil dude he is, nearly strikes her in his anger. Hey, I'd be kind of pissed, too, if someone started bashing my electronic gizmos with a metal bat!

When Jean rants at Magneto and tells him how he could make the choice to become good, too, he turns away and says that his path was chosen years ago, and he lets the X-Men go.

They return to Earth once more, and things start returning to normal. They return to the X-Men, Scott as leader, Jean as a teacher for the younger New Mutants team. And they have a baby, little Rachel Summers (who, in our timeline [well, not really our timeline because she came to ours from another timeline; man, the Summers family tree really messes me up!] became a member of Excaliber in the 90s and a member of the X-Men in the 2000s). Life seems to be going really, really well for them. Which, of course, means that it's all about to go into the crapper.

Little Rachel wakes Jean up one night, crying horribly.

It turns out Jean may have been right about Rachel having powers; Scott enters the room, only it isn't Scott, it's Mastermind. He tries to manipulate Jean once more with his powers of illusion.

Ugh, that creeps me out so bad, especially the image of her covered in maggots!

But in typical convoluted fashion of the X-Men comics of this time period, he's not the only one trying to manipulate. Mastermind himself is being manipulated by the Shadow King, an old X-villain who once crippled Charles Xavier.

Jean tries to fight back, but Mastermind/Shadow King shoot her and steal Rachel; Shadow King has plans for Rachel, but he doesn't really explain those plans.

The shots kill Jean, and as her body lies cooling on the bedroom floor, Phoenix comes back and saves her life once more, but Jean fights back against Phoenix to no avail.

However, Phoenix finally realizes that she has been Jean this entire time. She was always Jean from the time she saved her on the shuttle craft and took on her form and psyche. This knowledge drives her over the edge, and she flies to the ocean where Jean's body lies in its cocoon.

She imagines how Scott will react to the truth that the woman he loves, the mother of his child, is a farce, and she believes that he will hate her for the lie. And she performs a horrible, unforgivable act:

And that is one hell of a cliffhanger. We'll continue with part 2 tomorrow, so come back for that!

In parting, I'll leave you with my top 5 X-Men list. Granted, this list is always subject to change, but these are my top 5 for the moment (and most of them are eternal top 5 members). They're not in any particular order, no method to my madness.

5) Wolverine: Okay, confession time - I have not always liked Wolverine. Phew! That feels good to get off of my chest! When I first got into comics & into X-Men comics specifically, I absolutely hated Wolverine. I thought he was completely over-used and over-exposed. I thought most people gave him more credit than he deserved, that he wasn't that great of a character. What changed my mind? Wolverine #75. It was the aftermath of the Fatal Attractions cross-over, and Logan was adjusting to life after having his adamantium ripped from his skeleton by Magneto. I may cover this issue soon, so I won't go all the way into it, but the clincher for me was the ending. His relationship with Jubilee showed me how much variety Wolverine COULD have when written well, and, for the most part, I've enjoyed him since. I like my Wolverine tough, ass-kicking with a side of gentleness for kids and ladies.

4) Nightcrawler: I've loved Kurt from the first time I saw him. He's Errol Flynn in fuzzy-blue-elf form. He's a bit of a throwback in that he believes in chivalry and loves to fence, but that's part of his charm. One of my all-time favorite images of Kurt is as a pirate. He's kind of been one both in the Excalibur series and in his 4 issue mini-series from the 80s. I don't know if I really care for his current incarnation (he became a priest a couple of years ago), but I do like that he's a man of strong faith, especially given the contradiction it creates with his nearly demonic appearance. If you want to read some really good Nightcrawler stories, search out Vol. 1 of Excalibur, especially through about issue #50. I'll definitely be covering some of those stories here, so keep an eye out for that!

3) Beast: Hmmmmm. . I'm detecting a pattern. Blue, fuzzy, sense of humor. . . I mostly prefer Hank from the 80s-90s; I'm not real keen on the current catlike Beast. Hank is one of my favorites because of his intelligence and his sense of humor. I also love the dichotomy he faced once his secondary mutation kicked in and he became beast-like: the intelligent man who looks like a monster.

2) Jean Grey: I like Jean because she's more than what she seems. For so many years, she was underestimated and underused, but then the Phoenix storyline hit, and the depth of her innate powers was revealed. Jean often gets relegated to second fiddle and usually doesn't get the respect she deserves (she was one of the founding X-Men for heaven's sake, and the first one Xavier recruited!), but when she's written well, she's amazing.

1)Magneto: The first and best X-villain. Like with so many X-Men characters, Magneto benefits best by great writing. He's such a great character: Erik was a child during World War II when he and his family were interred in concentration camps for being Jews, and he went through absolute hell there. Some of his origins have his powers first appearing while in the camps, but what is interesting about him to me is even though he went through this ordeal, he himself believes that mutants are superior to humans, and some of his statements over the years have been rather Hitleresque. One of the best Magneto stories is the Testament miniseries from last year; it shows his years in the concentration camps, and it's utterly heartbreaking. I definitely plan on covering it here.

So, there ya go. Come back tomorrow for part 2 of the Phoenix What If?, and I also plan on showing you a few panels from The Incredible Hercules.

"Happy happy, joy joy"

Hey! Welcome to another Mutant Monday. I apologize in advance for the shortness of this post, but I have to go out of town today; however, I didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you.

Today, I'm going to talk a little bit about one of my all-time favorite issues of X-Factor, Vol. 1 #86, "X-Animation." Now, I would normally not talk about this because it was written by Peter David, and I'm not too happy with him these days, but I have to admit that he wrote some stellar issues of X-Factor & The Incredible Hulk, and, damn it, I want to talk about some of those issues! So I'm putting my personal frustration with him aside and forging ahead.

This issue was about a year into David's run; in 1991, the team switched from the original X-Factor (starring the original X-Men team of Cyclops, Jean Grey/Marvel Girl, Iceman, Beast & Angel) to an all-new team of seemingly mismatched mutants. Havok (Alex Summers, Cyclops' brother) was the team leader, Val Cooper was their government liaison, and the team was comprised of Multiple Man/Jamie Madrox, Polaris/Lorna Dane, Strong Guy/Guido Carosella, Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff & Wolfsbane/Rahne Sinclair.

I'm probably one of the few, but I really love the original David run of X-Factor. I think I'm the only Strong Guy fan in the world, and David really nailed the proper balance of his boisterous humor overcompensating for the pain he carried, both physical pain from his mutant power & emotional pain stemming from his childhood on. I also love the relationship between Strong Guy & Multiple Man; they were a great team with complimentary humors.

One of the few parts of this run I didn't like was how he handled Wolfsbane & Havoc. It seems at times that David forgot that Rahne was still a teenager, and I often find the way she lusts after Havoc (like sitting on the foot of his bed & staring at him while he sleeps) really unnerving and creepy. I know that's kind of the point, but it still skeeves me out. David's having the same problem in his current X-Factor run with the relationship between Madrox & Layla Miller (but that's a whole 'nother can of worms for another day).

So, back to issue 87. The whole premise of this issue is that a psychologist (we don't see his identity until the end, and I'm not gonna spoil it) has been brought in by Val Cooper to help the team through their problems and to analyze them for her use. I probably won't talk about every team member's stories in this issue, but I do want to talk a little about Wolfsbane, and then really discuss the segments on Madrox, Strong Guy & Quicksilver.

You're probably wondering what the title of this post has to do with this issue. Well, the issue opens with a cute little parody of Ren & Stimpy as Rahne is telling the pysch about her dreams. She keeps having a recurring dream called the Rahne & Simpy Show, starring herself & Feral (a member of X-Force, and another wolf/cat type of mutant; it was always a little uncertain to me exactly what Feral was).

She's having all kinds of weird dreams, parodies of Wayne's World & of Rain Man, and the doctor thinks she's having these dreams because she's trying to find an identity to latch on to. They talk about her relationship with Havok & her foster-father, Reverend Craig. Rahne seems to have the most simple conversation with the psychologist, and the most pleasant one, too.

Next up, Magneto's baby boy, Quicksilver. Pietro's got a big old problem: he suffers from what his teammates call (behind his back, of course) PMS: Pietro Maximoff Syndrome. They think he's snooty and insufferable. And he is, don't get me wrong. But there's an explanation to his supreme bitchiness:


And now for the two who broke my heart, Strong Guy and Multiple Man. Guido's got his appointment with the good doctor first.

Because Guido had warned Rahne about psychologists (something she mentioned in her session), the doctor wants to know why Guido had seen so many guidance counselors while he was in school. He was picked on a lot because he was a nerd, always getting perfect grades, and in self-defense, he became the class clown.

However, it backfired on him when he began to do it more and more to impress a girl he liked: her boyfriend beat the living crap out of Guido after the girl he liked winked at him. When Guido regained consciousness, he saw everyone laughing at him, and so he snapped and began attacking the bully, only to have the bully and his friends attacking him. Not good timing. His mutant powers kicked in right then:

That was the moment when I fully fell in love with Guido. He just broke my heart. I had no idea all his jokes and clowning around was hiding such a horrible past (and I could relate with my own childhood experiences with bullies).

Finally, Multiple Man, Jamie Madrox. The doctor cuts him off at the pass, telling him to take off the joy buzzer he has in his hand, and he asks Jamie to participate in some word association:

He asks Jamie if he truly believes what he said or if he was just trying for a reaction, and Jamie replies that he's honestly not sure. He explains that he likes getting reactions out of people because it reminds him that he's alive and gets people to notice him:

In all honesty, I prefer this Madrox to the one who is currently in X-Factor. Jamie's really rather an ass in the current book, and he just doesn't ring as true to me as in these older issues. I might go further into this, once I reread the current books.

Anyway, back to the story. It ends with Val Cooper talking to the psychologist, to see what he found out. Instead of telling her his findings, he asks her for her impressions of the team:

Ah, Val, you always were incredibly dense and clueless. . .

So, that's the main gist of the story. I highly recommend searching out this issue. It's worth the effort, and I think you can get it for a pretty reasonable price from online comic stores (or your LCS).

Tomorrow. . . well, I don't have plans for tomorrow. If I get back home early enough, I'll get a post up for you guys about something. Maybe we'll go through a What If? issue.

Arrr, Avast!!!

Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys! I been a bad captain; it be more than a week since I last put fingers to keyboard in this little den, so don't make me walk the plank! Aye. . .

Okay, that'll be enough of that. My brain can't take much more of it. So, in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm bringing you the long-promised pirate post. Yay! (flails arms like Kermit the Frog)

First off, how cool is this cover?

Deadpool. . pirate Deadpool. Standing on a treasure chest. I don't even know what the context of this is in the issue (I've got the issue, but I haven't read it yet), but I already know it's made of complete and utter win.

And now for the main event of this post. Some of you may know about DC's Elseworlds line of comics. For those of you who don't, they work basically like Marvel's What If? series: they take the familiar characters we know and put them into different times or different situations to see what would happen. I have a great affinity for both Elseworlds & What If?, so you'll see both of them pop up here from time to time.

Today, it's an Elseworld story, the Detective Comics Annual from 1994 to be exact. What do you get when you combine Batman and pirates? You get absolute awesome! This is probably my hands-down favorite Elseworld story, and I'm going to show you a few of the reasons why. I'm not going to really spoil you on plot or anything because I want you to seek this incredible book out for yourself (Sorry for being a stickler on this one, but you really have to experience this book for yourself; those of you who are my buddies, you know how to get a hold of me if you'd like to "borrow" it.).

So, in this universe, Batman is an English noble who got tired of living the sweet life, so he dawned the mantle of the Bat, called himself Leatherwing & took sail on the oceans to attack the Spanish & the ships of the Pope for King James. Alfred is his first mate, and in this universe, he's an Italian fellow named Alfredo. Yeah, Robin is in here, too, but he's actually pretty damn awesome. I'll show you him momentarily.

What does this honorable rogue look like? Well, here you go:

He cuts a pretty damn dashing figure, doesn't he?

So, reason number one that I love this book: Leatherwing is a perfect gentleman, and one of his first acts, after he defeats the rival Spaniard in the picture above, is to free their captive, the Princess Quext'chala. Unfortunately for him, because he loans her a dress, they are considered married when Leatherwing returns her home to her father. Steep price for clothing loan, huh?

Okay, I know I just broke my own rule about not revealing plot, so I won't reveal any more of it. Instead, I'm going to show you the main players, as they are a large portion of why I love this issue and why you should read it.

Robin, a plucky orphan:

Alfredo:

Capitana Felina (aka Selina Kyle, Catwoman)

(I apologize for my sloppy editing of the word balloons on this one. I had to include this shot of her as I love this dress, but the dialogue would be spoilertastic.)

And, of course, who is the Big Bad in this issue? Who else? The Laughing Man, the Joker himself:

And there you have it! A brief (or not-so-brief) introduction on why you should seek out this issue and read it ASAP. I hope you have fun on this Talk Like a Pirate Day. Don't drink too much grog & don't get shanghai'd. I'm going to try my very, very best to get this blog back on track this week, and, health permitting, I hope to get some make-up posts up tomorrow, so look for that!

Now get out of here before I make ye walk the plank, you scurvy lot!

I always like suspecting Jack. He's been such a perpetual load in my pants since day one of the Exile.

Today's title comes from Bigby Wolf of Fables, and that's going to be today's topic because it's Fables Friday! I deeply apologise for not posting anything yesterday. I've been fighting my allergies or a cold (can never tell for sure which it is this time of year), but I will post what I had planned for yesterday's post tomorrow.

Instead of covering issue 2 of Fables, I'm going to take a slight detour. I was going to give you my top 10 issue list, but there are so many storyarcs, it would be difficult to do that, so I'm going to give you my top 5 storyarc list (including the issue numbers so you can search them out, if you want). Next, I'm going to show you one of my favorite characters from Jack of Fables, Babe the Blue Ox (from Paul Bunyan fame), and then finally, I'm going to take you through a couple of stories from 1001 Nights of Snowfall, the mostly prose book that came out a couple of years back and which expands on the backstories of several of the main characters.

My Top 5 Fables Storyarcs (in no particular order) {Here be spoilers! but not too many} [Thanks to Wikipedia for helping with the issue numbers & for refreshing my memory]

5) Legends in Exile (issues 1-5): This is the one that started it all, and it's a fantastic introduction to the world of Fables. Rose Red has apparantly been murdered, and Bigby Wolf & Snow White must investigate her murder & keep Fabletown from being exposed to the Mundy world.

4) The Mean Seasons (issues 30-33): I know I said I wasn't putting these in any particular order, and I'm not, but I have to say that I think this is probably my favorite storyarc. Bigby & Snow White have become a couple by this time, and Snow gives birth to their children, who are shapeshifters between wolf & human forms. Because they're not fully human, Snow must relocate to the Farm, but the Animals of the Farm fear and hate Bigby, so he exiles himself. Snow ends up learning about Bigby's youth from his father, the North Wind, and Snow learns that one of her children is not exactly normal. It's a beautiful tale, and always makes me cry.

3) Arabian Nights (and Days) (issues 42-45): Sinbad brings a delegation of Arabian Fables to Fabletown to help form an alliance against the Adversary. This arc was nice because we finally got to see more than just the Anglo/European storybook characters in the Fables universe.

2) Jack Be Nimble (issues 34-35): Jack goes to Hollywood and sets up a film studio. I loved this because Jack is one of my favorite characters, and seeing him trying to get a film made of his fantastic exploits was a treat.

1) The Good Prince (issues issues 60 to 63 and 65 to 69): I believe this was the longest storyarc in the Fables history, and I think it's probably the best. We finally get to see more and learn more about Flycatcher. His backstory was revealed in 1001 Nights of Snowfall (he was the Frog Prince, and in times of extreme emotion, he would revert back to his froggy form; unfortunately, this happened when the Adversary's forces attacked his castle, and he was forced to watch his wife & daughters be brutally raped & murdered, all because he couldn't keep from changing back into his frog self), and in this story, we get to see him be the hero for once. He finally remembers his past and leads an assault against the Adversary's forces. It's a heart-wrenching and gorgeous story.

So, there you go. Five fantastic storyarcs (though, honestly, it was very hard to pick just five because I love the entire fun of Fables), and most of these you can find in trade now, if you don't want to buy the issues.

The Mind of Babe the Blue Ox

And now, a little levity. Jack of Fables was spun off of Fables a few years ago, after the Jack Be Nible storyline, and it has featured a lot more comedy and a regular series of revolving characters. One of these characters is Babe the Blue Ox. His pages always make me laugh my head off.

In the world of Fables, a character's notoriety in the Mundy world helps with their ability to recover from death, injuries, etc. For example, because Jack is SO well known (partially because he's nearly every Jack in every folk tale imaginable, partially because he's so well known because of Jack & the Beanstalk), he pretty much can't be killed.

On the other hand, Babe & Paul Bunyan have become less powerful because very few people nowadays know their tales. This affected Babe by shrinking him to about the size of a small dog. He relieves his boredom by creating these fantastical stories and situations in his head, and below are a few of my favorite of these pages. I hope you find them as funny as I do. Oh, and there will be no explanation about the issues because his pages never make sense in the context of the story. And I apologize, but you'll have to click the pics to get them to load at the right, readable size.







1001 Nights of Snowfall

This lovely books came out in 2006, and it's a great companion piece to the Fables comic series. It contains several self-contained stories that aren't necessary to read in order to understand the Fables series storyline, but it does add a little more flavor to the characters. As I said earlier, you learn more about the characters in many cases, and in a few, you're introduced to them for the first time.

These stories are interwoven in a prose piece that tells of Snow White visiting the Arabian fables in order to warn them about the coming Adversary and to broker an agreement between the Arabian kingdoms and Fabletown, but she finds herself taking the place of Scheherezade. She is forced to tell the Sultan a new story each night or else she'll be executed. The comic sections are these tales she spins.

Each section has a different artist, and each artist adds his or her own unique flair to the story being told. Some of the art isn't my favorite, but I'm going to show you a couple of pages from my favorite stories.

My first story is the first one Snow tells, and it's of her own past with Prince Charming, a story called The Fencing Lessons. We finally learn why Boy Blue told Beauty & the Beast way back in issue 1 of Fables, "But above all, when talking to the Deputy Mayor -- never mention the dwarves!"

I'm not going to spoil this story because it's a wonderful, wonderful story, but to give you a little info before showing you the art, before Snow & Charming married, he promised her that once they were married, she could have any wish she wanted fulfilled. Her wish was to having him teach her how to fence, and they have to go about this covertly since it's not proper for a woman to know how to fight. I think the art in this story is absolutely my favorite. Snow has never looked stronger nor more beautiful.


The last story I'm going to cover is one I alluded to earlier, about Prince Ambrose, also known as Flycatcher. Before this story was published, Flycatcher was pretty much just a comic foil and friend to Boy Blue; we would just see him as the janitor for the Fabletown government offices. This story tells of his past, the past he himself didn't remember until recently. I'm going to show two pages from this story. The first is adorable; the second is rather brutal (not gory, but just warning for triggering material & nudity).




And that's it for today. Tomorrow, I promise pirates. I'm holding to the Code this time!