Arrr, Avast!!!

Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys! I been a bad captain; it be more than a week since I last put fingers to keyboard in this little den, so don't make me walk the plank! Aye. . .

Okay, that'll be enough of that. My brain can't take much more of it. So, in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm bringing you the long-promised pirate post. Yay! (flails arms like Kermit the Frog)

First off, how cool is this cover?

Deadpool. . pirate Deadpool. Standing on a treasure chest. I don't even know what the context of this is in the issue (I've got the issue, but I haven't read it yet), but I already know it's made of complete and utter win.

And now for the main event of this post. Some of you may know about DC's Elseworlds line of comics. For those of you who don't, they work basically like Marvel's What If? series: they take the familiar characters we know and put them into different times or different situations to see what would happen. I have a great affinity for both Elseworlds & What If?, so you'll see both of them pop up here from time to time.

Today, it's an Elseworld story, the Detective Comics Annual from 1994 to be exact. What do you get when you combine Batman and pirates? You get absolute awesome! This is probably my hands-down favorite Elseworld story, and I'm going to show you a few of the reasons why. I'm not going to really spoil you on plot or anything because I want you to seek this incredible book out for yourself (Sorry for being a stickler on this one, but you really have to experience this book for yourself; those of you who are my buddies, you know how to get a hold of me if you'd like to "borrow" it.).

So, in this universe, Batman is an English noble who got tired of living the sweet life, so he dawned the mantle of the Bat, called himself Leatherwing & took sail on the oceans to attack the Spanish & the ships of the Pope for King James. Alfred is his first mate, and in this universe, he's an Italian fellow named Alfredo. Yeah, Robin is in here, too, but he's actually pretty damn awesome. I'll show you him momentarily.

What does this honorable rogue look like? Well, here you go:

He cuts a pretty damn dashing figure, doesn't he?

So, reason number one that I love this book: Leatherwing is a perfect gentleman, and one of his first acts, after he defeats the rival Spaniard in the picture above, is to free their captive, the Princess Quext'chala. Unfortunately for him, because he loans her a dress, they are considered married when Leatherwing returns her home to her father. Steep price for clothing loan, huh?

Okay, I know I just broke my own rule about not revealing plot, so I won't reveal any more of it. Instead, I'm going to show you the main players, as they are a large portion of why I love this issue and why you should read it.

Robin, a plucky orphan:

Alfredo:

Capitana Felina (aka Selina Kyle, Catwoman)

(I apologize for my sloppy editing of the word balloons on this one. I had to include this shot of her as I love this dress, but the dialogue would be spoilertastic.)

And, of course, who is the Big Bad in this issue? Who else? The Laughing Man, the Joker himself:

And there you have it! A brief (or not-so-brief) introduction on why you should seek out this issue and read it ASAP. I hope you have fun on this Talk Like a Pirate Day. Don't drink too much grog & don't get shanghai'd. I'm going to try my very, very best to get this blog back on track this week, and, health permitting, I hope to get some make-up posts up tomorrow, so look for that!

Now get out of here before I make ye walk the plank, you scurvy lot!